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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Farewell to a Friend

Our cat, Jack, died today.
That's the short version. I'm going to allow myself the opportunity to reminisce a bit, so feel free to follow along.

In the Spring of 1997, Chrissy got a job teaching at a fairly prestigious private school in eastern Pennsylvania. We were in need of a place to live and were fortunate to be offered the opportunity to live on the campus of this school in a little 19th century 4-room cottage and serve as night caretakers of the property. We would have to go around each night and make sure doors were locked and lights were turned off and kind of just be a physical presence on the property at night. It was pretty cool, because it was just us for about a mile in any direction. What does this have to do with a dead cat, right? We're getting there.

There was only 1 entrance/exit to the school which wound down a 1/4 mile driveway before getting to the school proper. Save this entrance, the entire property was ringed in thick woods. People would abandon pets there all the time. I guess they figured it was the humane way to get rid of an unwanted pet.....it was far enough from the road that no one would see, nor would the animal be in immediate danger of getting hit...and during the day, the place was crawling with upscale parents who might want to take in a new pet...it's twisted rationale, but it happened all the time. I had made many trips to the ASPCA to drop off a newly abandoned critter.

One day, Chrissy and I came home from work to find this small, emaciated, all-black cat sitting on the farmer's porch of our cottage. Skin and bones, this thing was. As soon as either of us got within 100 feet of it, it took off across the campus. A few days later we saw it again. Same result. Finally, one day, I decided to leave some food out for it. The closest thing to cat food that I had on hand was some cut up hot dog. We stuck it on a paper plate and put it out in the front yard, right off the porch. The cat showed up and DEVOURED the meal. Then took off. The next day, we did the same thing. Same result. Every time we served this meal to this little black cat, it would let me get closer to it. And closer....until one day, while it was eating outside my door, I was able to creep right up to it and give it a little pet on it's head. Now, growing up with a houseful of cats, if there's one thing I know, it's that cats LOVE getting their bellies scratched. I tried this with the little black cat on my porch and it just about attacked me. It hissed and booted off through the bushes. No doubt this reaction was triggered by some abuse he received before being abandoned. At any rate, sooner or later, it came back and we continued this little nightly feeding ritual. Then one night, we took it a step further.
I opened the door to our cottage and put the food inside the kitchen. The cat stepped onto the threshold of the cottage and peered around the room the way that a Marine might survey a room behind enemy lines before entering. Not sensing an immediate threat, the cat came inside to have his meal. Then he promptly took off into the night.
Cut to a few nights later...it was raining...HARD. And wind. And lightning. The window of our bedroom just so happened to look out right onto the roof over our farmer's porch. The rain was coming down in buckets and it was somewhere around 2 am or so when we first heard it.....meowing. again and again. It woke me up and as I looked out through the window I saw the silhouette of the little black cat sitting on the roof of our farmer's porch and meowing through the window, soaked to the bone, and begging to be let in from the storm. We let him in, dried him off, and fed him. He spent that night sleeping at the foot of our bed. I was in love.
In the morning, it was in no hurry to leave, and as it wove figure eights around my ankles, purring after it housed it's breakfast...I looked to Chrissy and said "I think we just got ourselves a pet". She agreed.
A trip to the vet revealed that what we had was an approximately 1 1/2 year old male cat who had already been fixed. He was in relatively good health (no doubt due to the hefty hot dog dinners he was fed), was given his shots and sent on his way to join life's journey with Chrissy and I. We named him Jack. That was thirteen years ago.
About a year later, we moved to New Jersey. Jack came with us. About 3 years after that, we moved to Massachusetts. Jack came with us. We've lived here since 2001 and Jack had taken to the role of "feline protector of the homestead" like a champ. I'll spare you the stories about him that are probably only endearing to me...but I will say this. That cat could hunt. Watching him take down a mouse or a bird was as enthralling as watching one of those super slo-mo National Geographic bits where a lion takes down a wildebeest. I remember one Summer, maybe 4 or 5 years ago, where jack took down an entire family of rabbits that holed up near one of our rock walls. Ever time he made a kill, he would leave it right in front of our back door. He'd stand over it as we showered praise on him for being a protector of his territory. See, that's what cats do...they don't kill for the fun of it...the do it to protect their territory...any other animal that came through Jack's territory was a threat to him and his home..and, although he spent most of his time as a calm, cool, loving house cat...when push came to shove, and his home was "threatened"... he took care of business. I kind of always admired that.
About 2 years ago, he started to slow down. The "treasures" left on our doorstep became fewer, and he became a bit more vulnerable...he let me rub his belly. He dealt with our small children trying to pull his tail without as much as a feeble hiss. He was winding down.
He died this afternoon...about an hour after we finished Thanksgiving dinner. I made my peace with him this morning...I kind of knew that today was the day. I scratched him under his chin...in that "sweet spot" that he always LOVED to get pet...and he mustered up enough energy for a few quiet "purrs". He died a few hours later, at home, and in no pain. Part of me feels silly caring this much for a small animal when we live in a world where human beings are neglected and mistreated every day...but another part of me feels that if the hearts of people cared for the small things in life...then we'd have a much easier time having regard for the big things.
We'll miss you, Jackie-boy. You were a great addition to our family. Thank you.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thin

I've noticed a few things about this blog...

first, there's folks that I've never met who "follow" this blog and are leaving comments. This is totally cool and I'm blown away by the fact that there's people out there who have never met me or my family who care about what's going on in my life. It's weird....cool, but a bit weird. i ran into an old friend a month or so back who said that they love my writing and can't wait to read each new blog post. I'm not very good at taking compliments....but I'm thankful that this blog is serving some purpose beyond myself.

and second....I feel that, to some degree, my blog reads like some kind of families fantasy world. I've posted at great length about the successes of my families endeavors and the victories that The Lord has won in my life.....I guess I feel like I've painted a less-than-accurate picture of life...one full of successes.....tonight I feel like I need to set the record straight....I feel like shit.

I'm thin. I'm worn. I'm sick of being the wonderful, engaged parent. Chrissy has been out of commission with a hurt back for three days and I'm done being uber-dad. On top of everything that is going on with Chrissy's bad back....Ivy is teething...and on top of Chrissy's bad back and Ivy's teething...It's freaking Thanksgiving in 36 hours. Last night, Ivy went to bed at 10:45 pm....tonight she went to bed at 10:15. I'm spent.

I should be thankful...there's thousands of moms and dads, in the military, for instance, who are worlds away from their families and would literally kill to spend 3 days, morning, noon, and night with their kids....I'm sure that my "thinness" is rooted in selfishness. Maybe 'cuz I was an only child....I don't know.

I don't drink much these days...but I've had three beers and I've got a little glow on...and I feel guilty for that. Maybe it's selfish...maybe it's me wanting to feel "free" and spend a few hours for myself after my family finally went to bed tonight. maybe it's me knowing that I'll be up sometime around 6:30am tomorrow with kids who are ready to conquer the world while I can hardly muster enough mental energy to brew coffee. I should probably go to bed.

I do give thanks, though. Wife. Kids. God. Family...I am thankful. I may sound thin...and short...and crappy...but I am thankful....and HE gives way more strength than I'm capable of mustering on my own.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I'm Floored

You've heard me say that we live in the house that my parents previously occupied ....anyway...about 15 or so years ago, before we moved back to MA, my folks were on a big "beach house" kick and decided to decorate their home in a beachy motif...which included model lighthouses at every turn and light, off-white carpet. It just so happened that the dining room was also carpeted. Fast forward to us moving in, having kids, and living in this home.....off-white carpeting and 2 little kids = bad news...ESPECIALLY when it's in the dining room.

Chrissy and I had been talking about putting some hardwood or laminate flooring in the dining room for years....well, we saved some cash and when push came to shove and back in June or July I promised Chrissy that she would have new flooring in the dining room by Thanksgiving....the clock was ticking, and it all came down this weekend. I've never laid flooring before so it was a bit of an adventure...throw in some baseboard moulding and thresholds and this project got a bit complicated....but, I got to gettin' and it turned out alright.

I'd like to thank the fine fellows at Lumber Liquidators, Home Depot, and Youtube DIY vids for helping make this happen...not to mention my dad, who taught me just about everything I've ever learned about tools, machinery, and building....my wife thanks you too.

Before:




After:




We've got a saying around here, especially in the areas of home improvement and maintenance projects...."Daddy Done It".

Daddy Done It refers to a home project that gets taken care of by daddy....it may not turn out as sweet as if a professional came in and did it...if you look hard enough, you can find all sorts of little mistakes....but Daddy Done it...we saved a ton of money by doing it ourselves, it looks quite good enough...and daddy took care of business for his family. Win. Win. Win.

I remember back in the day when Chrissy and I lived in New Jersey...We lived in a house with her mom and twin sister....Chrissy's dad had passed away about 10 years earlier. Chrissy and I lived upstairs in an attic room that was finished by her dad before the twins were born. She'll be the first to admit that her dad was no carpenter. I remember there was this closet door...the moulding at the bottom of the door frame was about 2 inches from the corner of the wall....by the time he got to the top of the door, it was out of square and the moulding was about flush to the wall corner. It wasn't the most pro job ever....if you looked hard enough, you could see the error...BUT...Daddy Done It. His kids needed a place to sleep and a closet. His desire to provide for his family outweighed his talent but, no matter, there was a job that needed to be done and he did it. At the end of the day, the closet door worked, the room was finished, his kids had a fine place to live, he upped his home improvement skills, and he saved a ton of cake by doing it himself. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win.

I never met Chrissy's dad. He passed away about 5 years before I met Chrissy...for me, he lives only in stories told by his children and a few faded photos that Chrissy holds on to. But I always remember that door frame in that attic room on 116 Stratford Ave. in Westmont, New Jersey. And today, as I was laying this floor, thinking the whole time of the blessing it was going to be to my family...I feel like I spent the morning with Chrissy's dad, Al Shipe...in my mind, he was rooting me on...proud of the job that I had done...proud that I was providing for my family despite that the task was foreign and a bit daunting...and not giving a damn about the little mistakes that I made.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Not much to say, but....

...beavers cut down 3 of our apple trees.


this means war.

i've been trying to look on the bright side of this, and so far all I've got is.....at least i'll have some nice apple wood to use to smoke some ribs next summer.....AND.....once I put a well placed .22 or .223 in it, i'll have a cool pelt to tack to the wall of the workshop......no, that's just the bitterness talking ;^)

maybe not.


alas, nothing gold can stay.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Hallo-whaaaaat??!!

Here's the deal...I love trick-or-treating...always have, always will. Chrissy does too. Now I've met TONS of Christian families over the years that will have nothing to do with Halloween, trick-or-treating, costumes, or anything that even **sniffs** of that holiday...and that's cool, I guess. I'm not gonna try to convert or preach to anyone, I just wanted to share a quick story about how our family looks at it...(actually, this is probably gonna be a bit lengthy, but hang with me).

Chrissy and I grew up trick-or-treating. The first 2 Halloweens that Gavin was alive, we dressed him up and took him trick-or-treating....just seemed like the natural thing to do. Last year was different. Starting around August of last year, the Lord was growing Chrissy and I in so many areas of life, especially in areas of parenting....biblical headship of the father in the home, family/home centric discipleship and evangelism, family integration in the church, shepherding and keeping our children's hearts, Biblical discipline, being super conscious of what and who was influencing our children, pointing their hearts toward Christ vs. behavior modification...I could keep going on. We refer to this period of time as "our awakening"..The Lord was showing us so much so fast, it became quite exciting, but also a bit overwhelming. We were reevaluating so many areas in our lives...sort of like how in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 we are told to "Test all things; hold fast to what is good". Then, all of a sudden, Halloween was right around the corner. By the end of October, our heads were spinning with all that we have been awakened to. Halloween and it's celebration of it was a big thing to evaluate, it's something that many Christians completely disassociate themselves from and ignore. Honestly, by the time we had to start thinking about where we stood on the issue of Halloween...Chrissy and I were both mentally shot, spiritually stretched, and neither one of us had the emotional energy to invest in coming to a conclusion about where we fell on this issue. So, in our exhaustion, we decided to do what many Christian families do.

We hid.

Turned out all the lights. drew the shades closed tight. Listened while scores of trick-or-treaters took to the streets of our neighborhood and secretly prayed that no one would attempt to knock on our door (or egg our house because we weren't handing out candy). We tried to pretend that this "evil" holiday didn't exist. We put on some hot cocoa and read some books with the kids until bed time.

It sucked.

Sucked.

SUCKED.

It was the worst. But, the holiday came and went and before we knew it, Thanksgiving and Christmas arrived and we didn't give it much thought or discuss how we felt about it...we kind of just left it alone and moved on.

Fast forward to this Summer. The Lord had been leading me to verses in Scripture that metaphorically liken the Love of Christ to light. Salt and Light. A lamp on a Stand, a City on a Hill, Hide it under a bushel **NO!!** I'm gonna let it Shine. We visited and revisited this concept in family worship lots of different ways. Throughout the Summer, Chrissy and the kids would load up the wagon with veggies from our garden and stroll through the neighborhood offering produce to our neighbors. We were using these types of opportunities to teach Gavin and Ivy about Shining the Love of Christ into "dark places": households where we knew that the people there were not Christians. When it came time to figure our Halloween this year, we knew that we couldn't hide....that's not how we roll....that's certainly not how Christ rolled.

"...a city on a hill cannot be hidden" Matt 5:14

This year, The Lord led us to be a positive presence in our neighborhood and show the love of Christ by providing for basic human needs in a fun, friendly, and unique environment. We didn't give a name to what we did, but if we had, it would have been something like "Light The Night" or some other witty something-or-other like that. Here's what went down:

The day before, Gavin and I strung Christmas lights around the perimeter of our driveway and spent a good 90 minutes brightly decorating our driveway with sidewalk chalk. We had picked up some good tracts sharing about God's Love and Christ's sacrifice and wrapped the candy up in them. Each kid that gets candy from us is going to get The Word as well.
On the day of trick-or-treating, it was cold. COLD. Maybe even in the upper 30's after the sun had set. We set up a campfire in a little fire pit in the driveway and put a huge pot of hot buttered cider on a camping stove out to offer anyone who needed a warm up. We hung out and handed out candy in our driveway. Trick-or-treating was from 5:30-7:30 on a Sunday this year...the Patriots had a 4:15 kickoff. There were TONS of dads out there who were sore that they had to miss the bulk of the Pat's game to take their kids out. So, we plugged in a radio and had the game on. We invited some dear friends of our to come and hang out with us, and all took turns taking the kids trick-or-treating and manning the driveway goings on. It was awesome...usually parents don't say a word to you while their kids knock at your door, but here, out in the open, they kind of HAD to interact with us. We weren't preachy at all, we didn't ask any questions about their beliefs or push ours on them, we simply asked then if they were cold and offered them some time around the fire and a cup of hot cider. Most would initially graciously decline, but often one parent in their group would take us up on the cider, and once the aroma of the spices (we added nutmeg, allspice, cinnamon, and orange zest) hit their nostrils, they were all sold. Dads were hanging around the fire listening to the a few downs of the Pat's game on the radio. One dad said to us: "Man, you guys are catering to peoples basic human needs right here: hot drink, warmth, candy, football...you guys are alright". So many people left our property with smiles on their faces (and warm cider in their bellies). Some dads were content to hang up at the top of the driveway, not wanting to venture down into our little corral of fun...we'd yell up the Patriot's score to them...they'd offer a "Thanks, man!!" back. We ended up handing out about 50 cups of cider and over 100 tracts/candy. At one point I had taken Gavin to hit a few houses and a kid who was with a group of teens noticed me from the other side of the street...He yelled across to me "Hey, there's the guy that gave me that cool book... thanks, man". Awesome.

After Trick-or-treating was over, we all went inside, put on some coffee, grabbed the guitar and did some singing. It was an amazing night. It is so wonderful to be used to shine Christ's Love into the lives of others. Now, here's where I'll let myself get a bit preachy...

To Christian families out there: STOP HIDING!!! We have an amazing opportunity here. Halloween is the one night out of the entire year that scores of unsaved people voluntarily walk onto OUR property and knock on OUR doors. It's reverse evangelism. They are coming to US. They are literally a captive audience for like 30 seconds for us to speak some level of Christ's Love, Light, and Truth into their lives. A City On A Hill CANNOT Be Hidden.

I could go on, but I'll stop here and post some pics from the evening. Thanks for reading....



Here's a shot of the driveway...Check out the tall ice cream cone on the left hand side...Gavin named the flavors....the gray scoop he insisted was "hat" flavored. yup. Hat.



A daytime shot of our little setup.



A shot of the setup at night. left to right: fire pit, candy station, cider station.



A cow riding a horse....what of it?



There's a new Sheriff in Town....and he'd like some milk, please.





Goose hunting and extreme cuteness, respectively.



See Ya Next Year!!